How to make friends in NYC after college.

Pick a plan you can actually repeat.

A great event an hour from your apartment might be worth the trip. For a weekly habit, choose somewhere you can still get to after a long workday. Check the journey home, the cost, and whether the activity gives you a chance to talk.

Start with one of these, based on what you’d enjoy even if you didn’t meet your next best friend there:

• A book discussion. Browse Brooklyn Public Library’s book clubs. Check the branch, reading, audience and whether the meeting is in person.
• A volunteer project. NYC Parks volunteering includes tree care and restoration opportunities. Pick a task you want to help with, then check the organizer’s requirements.
• A neighborhood garden activity. New York Restoration Project’s calendar lists community and volunteer activities. Filter by borough and read the individual listing for age, registration and seasonal details.

These are places to look, not Anchor partners or a promise that the same people attend every time. Before signing up, ask whether it’s a recurring group and whether newcomers can join.

Going alone? Give yourself a small job.

You don’t have to work the whole room. Find the host, ask where to start, and join the activity. “Have you been to this before?” is enough to open a conversation.

If big mixers feel tiring, try something where there’s already a shared task: making art, discussing a book or helping at a volunteer project. You can talk about what you’re doing instead of inventing a perfect opening line.

You also don’t need to make drinking the plan. Choose an activity you want to do and check the listing for the actual format. Give yourself permission to leave when you’ve had enough.

Make the next invite easy to answer.

If you enjoyed talking, ask whether they’d like to exchange contact details. Then follow up with the thing you talked about and one clear plan.

“Good meeting you yesterday. You mentioned wanting to check out that bookstore. Want to go Saturday afternoon?”

Or keep the original plan going:

“I’m going back to the next one. Want to meet outside and go in together?”

A short coffee or walk can be easier to arrange than a whole dinner. If they’re busy, leave room for them to suggest another time. If the effort stays one-sided, put your energy elsewhere.

A small plan for this week.

1. Choose one activity with a date you can keep. Check the journey and any registration requirements.
2. While you’re there, aim for one conversation you actually enjoy. Ask whether they plan to come back.
3. If you both want to stay in touch, suggest one specific follow-up. Put your own next outing in the calendar too.

Treat this as an experiment, not a deadline to have a new friend group. Keep the parts you enjoy and change the setting if it isn’t for you.